When Last we Left our Heroes
by Black.Rose.Authoress
Summary: Captain Justice Girl, Secret Identity: Allison F. Jones, is off to fight bad guys, defend freedom, and possibly even save the world! Or, she would be if she hadn't just been captured by the evil villains. Superhero Parody AU and Gen!flip.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Bonjour! So this is a totally random little ficcy. It's an AU, semi-gen!flipped comedy/parody of the superhero genre. Why? Because I can. Gen!flipped characters include fem!America and mentions of fem!Canada. And there's no blatant shipping, unless you choose to see it that way...

And this will only consist of two parts, just as a heads up.

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><p><strong>When Last we Left our Heroes<strong>

**Part 1**

You really couldn't blame all of this on _her_.

Okay, you might be able to blame _some_ of it on her. Maybe. But she'd just been trying to _help_! That's what the heroine did, after all. She saved the day! Defeated the bad guy! Rescued the damsel in distress!

Or, dude in distress as the case may be.

"Git. Bloody git. When I get out of this mess…"

So maybe her last attempt at dashing and daring heroism hadn't worked out exactly the way she'd planned, but she couldn't let one teeny-tiny failure get her down! She was Captain Justice Girl! (Secret identity: mild-mannered, totally heroic, straight-B high school student, captain of the girls' volleyball team and top-scorer for the lacrosse team, Allison 'F. for Freedom' Jones!)

She was a hero, after all! Not just a hero, but a _super_hero! And besides, the good guys _always _saved the day! It was part of their job description!

This whole 'getting-captured-by-the-bad-guy' thing was just a minor setback.

So, how she'd gotten into this situation in the first place?

Well, it was a funny story really.

Okay, so it had all started this morning when she'd been walking to school, sipping her coffee (even superheroes needed to caffeinate), and thinking about how it would be so much faster if she could just _fly _to school. She'd be really careful and make sure that no one saw her. Her sister was such a worry wart.

But, before she could decide whether to take the chance or not, her thoughts had been interrupted by the sound of sirens coming from somewhere nearby.

You know, superhero TV shows and movies always showed the heroes changing into their suits in a matter of seconds; like, Superman would just step into a phone booth and then pop right back out in his super-suit. But it really was a bigger pain in the butt than that. You had to go and find somewhere private to change and it was just really _annoying_.

Thankfully, she was currently walking by an empty construction site...complete with the usual porta-potties. And the people on the street were so distracted by the chaos up ahead that they failed to notice the totally normal teenage girl who suddenly disappeared over the fence.

Changing into your super suit in a porta-potty wasn't the easiest task in the world, but it had to be done. And her super suit was totally kickass, so it so was worth it.

Her sister, Mattie, had actually been the one to make hers, after quite a few hours of explaining just how important it was for a sweet superhero to have a totally sweet super suit—and she also had to promise to take litter box duty for the rest of the month. Totally worth it, though, since her suit was all red, white, and blue and _bad-ass_...

Because that's what she was defending, after all! Truth, Justice, and the American Way!

Or something like that...

Anyway, so she'd burst from the porta-potty as Captain Justice Girl and stood there, ready for all the gasps of amazement and everything...

But apparently her adoring public were so distracted by the noise up ahead that none of them had noticed her pretty amazing entrance. (Ignore the fact that she'd burst out of a porta-potty; it was still a pretty cool entrance.)

But that was all right, since she didn't have time to stop and sign autographs anyway. No, she had to fly off toward the sirens in order to find out what was happening so she could save the day!

Yep, so anyway, she'd started flying toward the cacophony, being all awesome and superheroey in the process. Waving down to her fans...

"Watch out!"

And _that_ voice was familiar...

You know what one of the most useful superheroic powers was? Superheroic reflexes. Ally had managed to not only _stop_, but she also managed todart away from the blur of green and white before she'd even realised that he was yelling at her. Which was good, since he was flying _really _fast. Her hair whipped around her face as he sped by, his huge, white wings beating against the air to propel him forward at a _terrific_ speed.

...Dude, not again.

"Hey!" Ally hurriedly turned and began speeding after the winged figure, who turned his head to look back at her for a moment—revealing a pair of rather annoyed, grassy-green eyes and an _enormous _pair of caterpillar-like blond eyebrows—and then began flying even faster. "Dude, I thought that we agreed that you'd quit stealing stuff!"

"Get out of here, git!"

Okay, so to explain... That guy up there? The one with the wings and the caterpillar eyebrows and the dorky-looking sweater vest? Yeah, that was one of the most notorious supervillains in the city. British Angel Dude.

...Well, that wasn't his real name, but he had superpowers (or wings, which she was pretty sure at least mostly counted as superpowers) so of course he needed a supervillain name. And since he'd refused to pick one for himself, she'd decided to pick one for him.

Anyway, so that was British Angel Dude—or _Arthur_,if you wanted to use his real name, since he apparently didn't understand the importance of secret identities—and he stole stuff. A lot. It was rather annoying, since she had decided a while ago that he was going to be her sidekick someday.

Since, dude, he was an _angel. _Or, at least he looked like an angel, which was totally close enough. You couldn't be an angel and be evil. That just went against all the laws of superhero-dom...

Plus, she'd rescued him once before—very heroically and dramatically, of course—and that pretty much made him her damsel in distress! Except he was a guy and he also had superpowers, so he couldn't actually be the damsel in distress. What, then? Sidekick!

And he had a funny accent. A sidekick with a funny accent would be the sweetest thing _ever_!

Of course, he couldn't be her sidekick yet, since he kind of still liked to steal stuff all the time. But it was only a matter of time before he repented of his evil ways and turned to the side of truth and liberty and justice!

"Come on, dude! Give whatever you took back!"

Arthur ignored her. Not surprisingly, since he was rather stubborn when it came to things like this.

Which was really silly, honestly, since he _knew _that she'd end up catching up. His wings were flashier, sure, but _she_ was a superhero. And superheroes were always going to be better than the bad guys. It was just one of those facts of the universe.

"Come on, Artie! How am I supposed to turn you into a super sidekick if you keep stealing stuff?" Super sidekicks couldn't be thieves; they'd make the superhero look bad.

Arthur turned his head slightly to glare at her. They were only a few yards away from each other at this point. In a few more seconds, she'd be able to grab him. "Fuck off!"

They'd also have to work on his language... Super sidekicks had to be good role models, since all of the little kids in the city would end up looking up to them.

Just a little closer...

And that was when their chase came to a sudden halt. A _very _sudden halt. As Arthur's body abruptly _jerked_ slightlybackwards, almost slamming into her. (Super reflexes save the day again). And then he just dropped... Like a metal anvil in one of those Wile E. Coyote cartoons. Plummeting toward the earth, white wings spread out behind him in a way that was actually kind of pretty.

Well, she might have thought it was pretty if it weren't for the fact that she was currently rather distracted by the fact that her future-sidekick was now plummeting toward the earth at a very high speed.

"Artie!"

And she didn't even give herself a _moment_ to think about what she was doing. She just _threw_ herself down after him, flying as fast as she could toward the limp body that was only a few moments away from slamming against the sidewalk...

_Shit. Shit shit shit... _

Yeah, superheroes shouldn't swear, but it'd only been in her head and she'd finally managed to overtake him. One last burst of speed! And she could fly underneath, hold out her arms, and—_ow~_.

Okay, that definitely _hurt_...

So, she hadn't really had time to think about the fact that getting between Arthur and the ground meant that _she _would most likely be the one who made impact. _Ow~ _Okay, she was going to have a gigantic bruise covering her entire back in the morning... _Ow ow owwwwie~_

But... But at least she'd managed to save him. Again.

And she was currently lying on her back on the sidewalk with the blond angel-person sprawled on top of her, uninjured but still unconscious. And now the question was _why _he had suddenly dropped out of the sky like a rock. She could feel his chest rising and falling against hers and he didn't look like he was in pain. He actually looked like he was asleep...

You know, maybe Arthur _should_ be her personal dude in distress... This was the second time she'd saved his life after all. Although, then she'd need to find someone else to be her sidekick...

"Ah, excellent catch, chère amie! I was worrying there for a moment."

And she was brought out of her thoughts by a sudden voice coming from behind her. A French-accented, uncomfortably-familiar voice.

And _that _explained it.

Stupid, she totally should have realised that _he_ was behind this. Who else could cause someone to suddenly fall asleep like that? Besides her European history teacher, at least...

Anyway, she immediately leapt to her feet in response to the evil voice chuckling behind her! Or, well, she leapt to her feet after she'd pushed Arthur off of her. Carefully, of course. "Rose Thorn!" And she pointed an accusing finger at the perpetrator. Dramatically and totally cool-like. "I should have known that you were behind this!"

Captain Justice Girl had many nemeses in this city. Like the evil Vodkanator and the sneaky (and rather awesome) Black Ninja. And one of the most dastardly was _him_. Rose Thorn.

As not only was he an evil supervillain, but he was an evil supervillain who had totally _stolen_ Batman's shtick. Since he didn't have any sort of superpowers of his own; instead, he used all of these fancy gizmos and gadgets to commit his crimes.

And he did so while wearing a costume that made him look like a magician.

Totally like a magician. He had the tux and the top hat and the rose in the buttonhole and the only thing that he wore that wasn't all magiciany was a monocle that just made him look all British-like. He'd gotten annoyed at her the last time she'd pointed that out, though. Like _really _annoyed.

Seriously, though, if you didn't want people to think you were a British magician, then you shouldn't dress like a British magician.

Anyway, so that wasn't really important... No, what _was_ important was the fact that he was currently standing in front of her with a gun pointed right at her chest.

Not that she had to worry _too _much about that, since she knew that his gun only shot darts that would put you to sleep for a few hours, not actual bullets. Since he was evil and dastardly, but not quite _that _evil and dastardly.

And the darts didn't really hurt very much. Kind of felt like a bee sting for a second.

Yeah, since she'd sort of gotten shot by him once... All part of her heroic plan to save the day!

Actually twice.

Now that she thought about, actually it'd happened three times. But that last time didn't really count, since he'd been aiming at one of the police officers and she'd only gotten hit because she'd sort of accidentally flown in the way... In order to protect the cop, of course!

Yeah, it was another heroic reflex!

"Ah, ma chérie!" Attention returned to the French teenager standing in front of her, who now took a step forward with his gun still trained on her. "It really has been too long! How is your sister? Did she like the flowers that we sent her?"

On another note, you know what was really not cool? When your sister went to the hospital to have her appendix removed and ended up receiving flowers, cards, and presents from pretty much _all _of your arch-enemies. That was like betrayal!

"Cease in your evil ways, evildoer!" And now she was going to take him down, since he happened to be one of the most dastardly criminals in the entire city and he was standing in front of her _and _he'd just shot her sidekick/dude in distress out of the sky. She clenched one of her fists and threw it above her head in a very heroic fashion. "Or face my fists of heroic justice!"

It was kind of disappointing that Rose Thorn didn't respond to that, outside of raising his eyebrows slightly. "Oui?"

Still, this was one of the best parts of being a superhero. Verbal sparring with evil supervillains. "Don't think that I don't know what you're planning! I know every evil thought that lurks in the hearts of men!"

"Do you?"

"Yes!" Not really, but _he _didn't need to know that. "And now I'm going to arrest you and take you to jail!"

"For what?" He pointed toward Arthur, who she now noticed had curled up on his side and was now sleeping with one of his wings covering him—almost like a blanket. "I just assisted in the capture of an infamous jewel thief."

"You can't assist by shooting people out of the sky." She was pretty sure that there were rules against that sort of thing. And if there weren't, then there really should be. "Besides, British Angel Dude is my sidekick-in-training!"

"Is he?" And now Francis's lips twisted into an amused smirk. "Ah, then I suppose that we'll have to bring you both with us!"

_Wait, wha—?_

"Hola, Super Captain Hero Chica!"

And that perky, Spanish-accented voice was the very last thing that Ally heard before the universe faded to black...

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><p>AN: And so ends part 1 of 2 of this random little superhero AU parody thing. ;D Haha, which I totally just decided to write because these past few days have been very not awesome and I needed to write something stupid and funny to cheer myself up.

Ally, you're adorable. And so is Arthur, even if he is a jewel thief who doesn't want to mend his ways and turn to the side of justice and heroism and truth and such things.

Umm, oh. And anyone know who Francis is dressed as? ;D He's totally one of my favourite literary figures. And Ally made a reference to one of my favourite Old Time Radio programs. If you managed to get both, then we need to become best friends right now because I've only met one other person in real life who knows the first and I pretty much never met anybody under the age of 60 (besides my mom) who knows that radio show.

My interests are varied and obscure, but that's part of what makes life fun.


	2. Chapter 2

**When Last we Left our Heroes**

**Part 2**

Anyway, like Ally had said before, you really couldn't blame _all_ of this on her.

If Arthur hadn't stolen whatever it was that he'd stolen, then they wouldn't have been captured by Rose Thorn and his friend, The Tomato Bandit. If he would just stop being stubborn and turn to the side of good already then things would be so much easier…

But…But, this was no time to be pointing fingers! That wasn't what heroes did. No, she only needed to focus on getting out of here before Rose Thorn and the Tomato Bandit returned from wherever they had disappeared.

Which was easier said than done, as it was hard to concentrate when your dude in distress was very noisily struggling against the ropes firmly binding him to his chair—which happened to be behind hers and probably facing in the opposite direction—angrily cursing every few seconds. "Git. Bloody git. When I get out of this mess…"

Now, usually this escape would be incredibly simple. After all, she not only had the totally _sweet_ ability to fly, but she also happened to have super strength… Normally she would just break free of the ropes that were binding her to _her _chair, strike a heroic pose, beat up the bad guys (but not too badly, because that was like police brutality which was a _big _no-no), and then swoop down and rescue her dude in distress!

Then they'd fly away into the sunset and he would repent of his evil ways and they would live happily ever after!

Or, you know, something like that.

Unfortunately, it wasn't going to be that easy to escape. Because—and this had sent a momentary panic through her mind when she'd first realised it—her superpowers weren't working for some reason.

Which meant that Rose Thorn must have done something evil and diabolical to her in order to steal her superpowers. And now she was stuck in the evil villains' evil lair (or what she assumed was part of their evil lair; they were currently just locked in an empty room with blank cement walls and one door) without any obvious escape routes.

But she couldn't despair, because superheroes never gave up!

If she was going to figure out a way out of here, though, then she was going to need some help from her future sidekick—it'd be good practice for him anyway. So she turned her head in his direction and hissed a quiet, "Artie! Hey, Artie!"

Arthur didn't respond, though; he probably couldn't hear her over his own annoyed cursing and his struggles against the ropes binding him to his own chair.

"Arthur?" He was struggling way too loudly and also way too _violently_. As she suddenly realized when she noticed a feather suddenly drift into sight. A white feather with the quill tinted red…

"Hey, Artie!"

And _that_ shout finally managed to get his attention. His chair scraped against the floor, as if he'd jumped. Probably could have gotten his attention in a slightly less-startling way, but…

"Dude, don't _hurt_ yourself." Ally couldn't have her dude in distress/future sidekick hurt himself in a fruitless attempt to escape from their captors. That would totally be not cool! "Captain Justice Girl can handle this!"

He snorted in response. "You can handle this… Git, you're the one who got us _into _this mess."

"Did not." And she totally hadn't. "If you hadn't stolen whatever-it-was that you stole…" Now that she thought about it, she actually had no clue what it was that he'd taken. "Anyway, so this is totally your fault. I was being heroic and then you had to go and be all villainous."

Although this really _really _wasn't the time to be pointing fingers. They had to think…

Unfortunately, she didn't have the chance to do much thinking, as the door to their cell suddenly slammed open. The light from outside almost blinding her.

"Bonjour, Mademoiselle! I hope that we are not interrupting anything!"

And two figures were standing in the doorway, thankfully blocking some of the light… Still took a minute for her eyes to adjust, though. She watched as Rose Thorn stepped through the door and casually made his way toward her seat.

"It took longer than I expected for you to wake up." She could see the smirk crossing over his lips as he stopped in front of her, peering down at her with a villainous expression. "But no harm done, oui? Now, I'm sure that you would like to get home as soon as possible so we shall make this quick. Now, where is the Shallot Diamond?"

_Huh?_

Was that what Arthur had stolen? She'd never heard of it before...

Which was totally reasonable, by the way! Heroes had to worry about saving people and helping the police and things like that. They didn't have _time_ to be super good at remembering names of jewels or when the Battle of Gettysburg happened or what was the atomic number of Magnesium. Stupid things like that...

Her confusion must have shown on her face, though, because the villainous Rose Thorn frowned for a moment before he leaned back and glanced toward Arthur. "Or did you fail at retrieving it from our _cher_ little thief?"

"Hey, dude, I totally didn't fail! I was just keeping it out of your evil clutches!"

Rose Thorn ignored her—like the evil villain that he was—and instead walked over toward her future sidekick. Which may give her a chance to escape...

Ally hurriedly turned her head toward the door at this thought, squinting toward the figure who was still standing there. The Tomato Bandit, of course. Standing there to make sure she couldn't escape, leaning on a long pole that ended in something very shiny and very very sharp.

Yeah, she wasn't getting out that way. While the Tomato Bandit was usually one of her nicer archrivals, he did have this really uncool tendency to switch personalities without much warning. He'd go from his usual happy, mild-mannered personality to a complete raging psychopath... A raging psychopath with an axe, just to make everything worse.

You know, let's just say that Ally had never been happier to have the power to fly than she had been during that one fight...

...So they definitely weren't getting out that way.

"Now, mon cher," Rose Thorn was now talking to Arthur, his voice lower than when he'd been speaking to her. "We know that you stole the Shalott Diamond. And it would really be in your best interest to just hand it over."

You know, maybe she could wriggle her hands free or something, untie herself, and then make a break for it. Once she was outside of this room, her powers would probably come back and she could heroically handle the Tomato Bandit and Rose Thorn and rescue her dude in distress.

And then get him to give her the jewel so she could return it to the rightful owner.

She could just _imagine_ how awesome that would be. The Tomato Bandit would notice her escape first and swing at her with his mighty axe. But he would be much too slow, as she would easily _leap_ over the deadly blade. She would jump onto the axe handle mid-swing, use it to push herself off, do a somersault over his head, land with a perfect ten... Then she'd knock him out with a single blow—it wouldn't _hurt_ him, of course, but it would knock him out until the police arrived. Then she'd run into the room and dodge Rose Thorn's darts with her superheroic reflexes. Another karate chop to knock _him_ out. And then she and British Angel Dude would escape and _fly_ off into the sunset!

_Awesome! _

"What makes you think that _I_ stole it?" Arthur's voice was layered with sarcasm. As usual. "Everyone wants that jewel. Besides, last I heard, you three had it."

"We _did _have it, until Antonio gave it to Lovino..."

Lovino, another dastardly villain; the leader of an organization of lesser criminals. He was better known as 'El Chigi.' Or, at least, that's what _she _called him. Since she seemed to be the only one in this entire city who understood the importance of secret identities.

"And then un _hombre estupido_ stole it from Lovi!" the Tomato Bandit now chirped in, sounding surprisingly happy about this fact. "I made sure to show him how very _very bad_ that was, though. So everything is okay now~!"

Yeah, definitely not going out that way.

"_Anyway_," Rose Thorn was starting to sound annoyed. "We know that you stole it. Just tell us where it is and we will let you and your amour go..."

But Arthur didn't have a chance to respond to his threat—not that he needed to, since Ally _knew _that her future sidekick would never give the Scallop Diamond to the bad guys—by a sudden shout coming from outside of the door where the Tomato Bandit was still standing.

"Dude, when are you guys coming out? Awesome's getting bored here!"

And if Allison had been a less heroic superhero, she may have gasped in shock at that voice. But she didn't, because she'd totally known that _she _would be here.

_She_. Also known as the most evil supervillain in the entire city… Possibly the entire county. And maybe even the entire state! The super creepy, weird-looking, and evil mistress of evil, _Doctor Unawesome. _(She may call herself Doctor Awesome, but everyone knew that the title of _awesome _was reserved for the good guys).

And now she suddenly appeared in the doorway, her evil tomato-themed minion moving aside like the evil minion that he was.

And her red eyes immediately glinted at Ally like pools of red _blood _and she grinned with teeth that Ally _knew _were pointier than normal teeth. And dude, if that wasn't a sign of her evilness, then nothing was, because you could _not_ have bloody-coloured eyes and pointy teeth and _not _be evil. That went against like all rules of superhero/villain-dom.

No matter what Mattie said.

"So, we meet again, Captain Unawesome Superhero Girl." And she was now leaning against the doorframe with a slouch of villainy. "Why don't you and Artie here come out and join us? And we can _discuss_ some rather important things all together like an awesome little family!"

Ally was vaguely aware of the sound of Arthur groaning and saying something about "gits," but she didn't allow him to distract her. Because this was the most important part of their adventure. Because _now_ was her chance to face off against her ultimate archnemesis.

And only the bravest and most heroic hero could survive!

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><p>AN: So, this isn't going to be two parts obviously... Yeah. It'll be three. Because Gill needs her own chapter, apparently. (More like Ally needs to shut up in her little head xD). Ah well. Yay! I'm sort of back at least! I've missed y'all... I'm at school now. And I'm twenty now! Had my birthday four days ago... Craziness. I feel old.

Other notes, so one of you recognised who Francis was dressed as. Although a lot of you were sort of close. He is dressed as Arsène Lupin, a famous thief in French literature. Who is almost completely unknown in the US, sadly. I've never met someone in the US who knew who he was who I hadn't told about him... Sad day. But a lot of you actually mentioned the tuxedo dude from Sailor Moon (whose name I don't know because I don't think I ever actually watched Sailor Moon, lol). Who was actually based off of Arsène Lupin. As were many other characters in anime/manga (aka: just about every gentleman/phantom thief in any anime/manga) because Lupin is famous in Japan for some reason that I've never actually understood. So, you guys can all have some internet cookies. And random knowledge that I enjoy sharing because I've spent, so far, three summers of my life researching this sort of thing because I have no life and have a tendency to obsess over weird things that no one else cares about. Wee~

Also, because I totally forgot to say this before. Francis's name was taken from a fanfiction on the kink meme. So I didn't come up with it. Not sure what the title was, but I know you can find it on the Hetalia tvtropes fanfic recommendation page somewhere. Not that that helps much. xD


	3. Chapter 3

**When Last we Left our Heroes**

**Part 3**

_Captain Justice Girl_ versus _Doctor Unawesome_.

_Awesome Superhero_ versus _Evil Super villain_.

Although, if you wanted to be completely accurate, then it was more like: Captain Justice Girl and sidekick British Angel Dude versus Doctor Unawesome and her evil minions, Rose Thorn and the Tomato Bandit.

So, two against three...

Except it was really _three _against three, because she and Arthur had a super special teammate on their side. And that teammate's name was _justice_!

Ally would have fist pumped at that heroic thought if it weren't for the fact that her wrists were still tied together. She _was_ free from the chair that she'd been confined to, though. And was now following the Tomato Bandit out of their little cell and into Doctor Unawesome's secret lair. Where she could put her super heroic escape plan into action!

...Once she'd thought of a super heroic escape plan, at least.

It was a _lot_ brighter in this room than it had been in their little cell; bright enough that she was forced to pause in the doorway and blink a few times to adjust her eyes to the sudden change.

Which the Tomato Bandit didn't seem to notice, as he just continued walking forward even as she stopped. It would have been the perfect opportunity to put her plan into action (she was thinking that her super heroic escape plan would involve a giant robot) if only Rose Thorn hadn't suddenly set his hand on her lower back and pushed her into the room.

"Welcome to our home sweet home, Unawesome Not-so-Heroic Girl!" Doctor Unawesome shouted as she leapt in front of Ally, grinning at her with those blood-coloured eyes and too-sharp teeth. "Also known as the Awesome Lair of Awesomeness!"

Okay, so Ally hated giving props to evil villains, but this was definitely a way cool lair... Way cooler than _her _lair (aka: her bedroom). Of course, if her parents had just let her have free reign over the attic like she'd asked a billion times.

Anyway, so the lair was a lot smaller than she'd expected, but dude, they had a big screen TV covering one of the walls and there were like five game systems spread out across the polka-dotted carpet, their wires all knotted like an obstacle course. There was also a huge bookcase filled with DVDs, video games, and some books and like _twenty_ brightly-coloured bean bag chairs all over the place, one of them shaped like a tomato.

The other half of the room held a sort of kitchen/dining room area, looked like. There was a bright red old-fashioned looking fridge and a black stove with white counters in between. And a black and white checked table had been set up nearby that was currently covered by the remnants of what looked like an intense game of Monopoly. And...and...

Oh, dude, there was a disco ball hanging from the ceiling.

Yeah, she was totally getting a disco ball for her future secret lair.

Oh, and because there was no possible way you could ignore this little fact. There were also like five billion chicks—and by chicks, she didn't mean girls; she meant actual baby _chickens_—spread out all over the place. On the carpet, bean bag chairs, sitting on the video game consoles.

And all of the little chicks were staring at the TV screen, which was right in the middle of the dodge ball scene from _Chicken Little_.

And...

...And...

...Dude, that fish was _sweet.._.

_Anyway_... Ally hurriedly shook her head to clear her thoughts and then glanced back toward where Arthur was standing beside Rose Thorn. Looking extremely ticked off.

Which made sense, since not only had his hands been tied together behind his back, but Rose Thorn had also tied his wings against his back into a position that looked extremely uncomfortable, if not painful. One rope tied around his chest and the other across his waist.

She'd figure it out. She'd come up with a super heroic, awesome escape plan.

Most of the chicks had turned from the television when the group entered the room, and now at least a dozen of them were clambering onto Doctor Unawesome's feet. Peeping at them in a way that was simultaneously cute and menacing.

"Hey, guys!" And Doctor Unawesome immediately bent down and picked up a couple of the chicks, bringing them to her face and nuzzling her cheek against their feathers. "You keeping an eye on the security cameras?"

A cheep cheep came from one of the chicks still seated on one of the beanbag chairs.

Which Doctor Unawesome answered, "Okay, keep up the good work then. And don't you guys dare spoil the ending for me! I still haven't seen this one all the way through."

To explain...

Okay, so it had actually taken Ally quite a while to figure this one out, since most of the superheroes and super villains that she'd met (not that she'd really met that many, but that was beside the point) had normal powers like flight, super strength, ice powers, fire powers... Stuff like that.

And she'd realised after a while that Doctor Unawesome didn't have any of those, so she'd gotten confused. Just for a few months, though. Just until she figured it out—that Doctor Unawesome's powers were _exactly_ like Doctor Dolittle's powers. Meaning she had the ability to talk to animals. All animals apparently, although she seemed to like chicks the best.

Ally had also realised after a little while that this was actually a very useful power to have. Because how in the _world_ were you supposed to fight against an army of chicks? You couldn't, because it'd be way too easy to hurt them and you couldn't be a superhero if you were willing to hurt little tiny baby chickens. Even if they were evil.

Doctor Unawesome set her chicks down after a few more seconds of cooing at them, making sure to pat each of the others crowding her feet on the head before she stood up and walked over to the table in their kitchen area. The Tomato Bandit hurried ahead, throwing the Monopoly pieces haphazardly into the game's box before shoving it on top of a leaning tower of other board games.

And the evil albino girl immediately plopped into one of the vacant seats, motioning for Ally to sit in the one opposite her. "Now, Unawesome Not-so-Heroic Girl, you have the Shallot Diamond. You give it to us and we'll let you and your boyfriend go. Easy peasie."

Okay, why wouldn't they let up about this diamond thing? She had no clue what they were talking about.

And "Dude, Artie's not my boyfriend. He's my sidekick-in-training!"

She heard Rose Thorn suddenly chuckle for some reason—had she just said something funny?—and then he walked up to the table. Tugging Arthur along by the rope knotted around his waist. Ignoring the wince of pain and then enraged glare that the British angel sent him. "I don't think that our little heroine knows what we're talking about, Gilly. Arthur is the one who last had the Shallot Diamond..."

"Really?" And the girl immediately jumped up and walked over to Arthur, leaving Ally just sitting there. "Okay, then Unawesome Angel Arthur Guy. _You_ have the Shallot Diamond. You give it to us and we'll let you and your girlfriend go. Easy peesie."

Arthur just lifted one of his enormous caterpillar eyebrows in response. "Who says that I still have it? Do you really think I'd be so stupid as to keep a treasure like that on my person?"

"Then where is it, amigo~?" And suddenly the Tomato Bandit left her as well, joining his partners... Which meant that all three of them were now facing away from her, completely focused on her dude-in-distress/sidekick-in-training.

Which meant that she now had the _perfect _opportunity to put her super heroic escape plan into action.

But she still needed to _come up_ with a super heroic escape plan. Damn it, if she could just get her hands untied... Where was a convenient nail sticking out of the wall when you needed one?

"Do you honestly think I'd tell _you_ idiots where I'm keeping it?" If Arthur's hands had been free, he definitely would have been crossing them over his chest right about now. "If you guys really wanted it, then you should've gotten to it before I did."

Doctor Unawesome grinned at that and leaned in _way _too close to him. Stupid creepy albino villain trying to intimidate _Ally's _sidekick-in-training. "Or we can just steal it from you. That's a ton easier, after all."

"Apparently not, since you don't know where I hid it."

And now Rose Thorn leaned toward Arthur as well—dude, these villains needed to _lay off _her sidekick—and then slowly wrapped an arm around his waist. Somehow ignoring Arthur's rather impressive cursing and flailing response...

Which suddenly _ceased_ without any warning.

"These wings are rather delicate, oui?" And Ally could hear Arthur give a short hiss of what she knew was pain. "Such soft feathers... I'm sure that you'll cooperate with us. You don't need that jewel anyway. What would _you _do with it?"

Okay, and that was _it_... Ally was not just going to sit here and let these villains hurt her dude-in-distress. So she immediately jumped to her feet, managing to knock over her chair in the process. Which, of course, immediately captured the attention of everyone else in the room, including all of the chicks.

And...that was about as far as she'd gotten in her planning stages, actually...

She knew that she could wing it, though. That was one thing that she was _definitely_ good at.

"Yo, dudes!" This whole not having hands available thing was getting really annoying. Usually she'd be pointing at this point. "No hurting my sidekick-in-training! I'm the hero, so if you want to fight, then you gotta fight _me_! And, dudes, there's no way this Scallop Diamond is _that _important..."

Arthur was sending her a slightly scary glare, and then he hissed out an annoyed "I can handle this, git."

Dude, _she _was the hero. The hero was the one who handled the villains. Everyone knew that.

"You've really never heard of the Shallot Diamond, chérie?" And Rose Thorn now _finally _released Arthur, the Tomato Bandit immediately moving to take his place. "That surprises me. I would have thought that all unnaturals would know about the Shallot Diamond."

Ally immediately wrinkled her nose in distaste... "I'm not an 'unnatural'. I'm a superhero!"

There was a difference! 'Unnatural' made having powers sound _bad_. Calling her an 'unnatural' made it sound like there was something wrong with her, when she _knew_ that there was nothing wrong with her. She was a _hero_. She used her powers to make the world safer for all people! Which meant that _she _was the good guy.

And for a moment the room just stood still in an awkward silence that was only punctuated by the voices of the cartoon characters on the big-screen TV. And the occasional excited cheep from one of the chicks.

Until Rose Thorn suddenly laughed, shaking his head a few times as if she'd just said something hilarious. "Is that what we're calling it now? My mistake."

Of course... 'Unnatural' was what some people—mostly those without superpowers—called those who had been born with powers. It was a cruel word, but one that she knew only existed because people didn't understand that plenty of the people who had powers wanted to use their special abilities for good. Once everyone understood that, then things would be better and...

"The Shallot Diamond is a relic that holds absolutely unimaginable magical powers." He smirked as he took a few steps closer to her, expression almost like he was about to tell her a particularly nasty secret. "It is even believed by many that the Shallot Diamond is the _same_ jewel that was long ago entrusted to mortals and was then used to give some humans powers that would rival those of the gods."

And Ally had almost managed to completely forget that she'd asked about the jewel, so Rose Thorn's words came as a bit of a shock.

"Now, however," he continued, "it can only be used for transference."

Transference? She sent the evil French villain a slightly confused look, which managed to earn her an annoyed glare, courtesy of a still-very-pissed-off Arthur... Dude, it wasn't her fault she didn't know about this stuff!

"Which means that the Shallot Diamond can now only be used to either transfer powers from an unnatural to a natural _or_ to transfer powers from one unnatural to another." He tapped his finger against his lips and then grinned again. "Or 'superhero' to use your terminology."

...Wait a sec.

"Dude, is _that_ what you did to me?" And she definitely hadn't expected to hit _that_ note. It'd sounded like some creepy bird screech or something like that. "Is that why my powers—?"

No. Dude, no no no no _no_! They _couldn't _have taken her powers! She wouldn't be able to be a real superhero without her powers; she'd just be plain, old, normal, boring Allison Jones... If she didn't have powers, then how could she be a hero?

"Non. Non." Rose Thorn's voice hurriedly cut off those thoughts. "That is just a little device that we installed, just to make sure that things move smoothly. It suppresses all powers that are physically-based..."

And Doctor Unawesome cut in before he could finish, yawning exaggeratedly. "Dude, this is _boring_. It doesn't matter what the thingy _does_, we just gotta make sure we get to it before anyone else does. So if Artie here doesn't have the diamond, then we need to go out and find it..."

"After we search him to make sure that he's telling the truth, sí?" The Tomato Bandit chimed in from where he was still standing, keeping a scowling Arthur subdued. "It would be silly to let him go if he happened to be _lying_ about not having it! Then we'd have to go looking for him all over again!"

...And holy crap, Arthur had seriously like _mastered _the 'if looks could kill' glare. Ally half expected him to suddenly shoot laser beams out of his eyes, frying everyone in the room. Except for herself, because she was a hero and the chicks, because that would just be mean. "I told you _gits_ that I don't have it. I'm not stupid enough to carry something like that on my person."

"But when would you have had time to hide it, cher?" Rose Thorn was ignoring her again, stalking over toward Arthur with a rather creepy smile. "It would make much more sense if it were still on you..."

"If you touch me, frog, I swear I'll—"

_Fortunately_, for the innocence of all of the baby chicks that were still surrounding them, Arthur's threat was cut off by a sudden and incredibly painful high-pitched screech. And then the television went black, sending the chicks into a frenzy of upset cheeps.

For just a moment, though. As an image soon returned—a very different image.

"Black Ninja!" Doctor Unawesome sounded rather shocked for a moment; then she pouted and crossed her arms over her chest as she glared at the screen. "Not awesome! We were in the middle of a movie!"

_Black Ninja, one of Captain Justice Girl's many nemeses. _

The screen currently showed _him_—yes, he had the appearance of a normal, teenage Japanese boy, but don't let that fool you!—sitting in a very large, almost enveloping black chair. With tons of computery gizmos revealed in the background.

Okay, this was starting to get ridiculous. How come _everyone else _had a cool secret lair? She was the superhero! It was like...like... Well, where would _Batman_ be without his _Bat-cave_?

Anyway, so he was dressed completely in black, obviously. His name was _Black Ninja _after all. What other color would he be wearing?

And now he cleared his throat and spoke in a soft, deceptively-polite tone. "I am very sorry about that interruption, Awesome-san. I was just listening in to your conversation and wanted to let you know that searching Arthur-san is unnecessary. You see..." He suddenly bent down and disappeared for a moment, then reappeared.

A light blue gemstone—about the size of a nectarine—cradled in his palm.

"As you can see," he continued, still incredibly calmly, "I currently have the Shallot Diamond in my possession. I am sorry for any inconvenience this may cause."

Whoa, Ally hadn't been aware that Arthur could turn _that_ shade of red. Or that his eyes could widen that much...

"I noticed you drop it off on top of the Werring Building, Arthur-san, and decided to have one of my creations retrieve it."

Oh, just so you know, Black Ninja had totally built a bunch of these little spider robot things that could like spy on people and climb buildings and make coffee and shoot lasers... They were pretty sweet.

Seriously, he was like the coolest nemesis _ever_.

"Well..." And he looked slightly unsure how to deal with the ensuing silence. "I should go now. I am quite busy with other experiments, after all."

And, just like that, he was gone.

The movie returning after a few seconds. Which seemed to make the chicks happy at least; all of the human occupants of the room were just standing there in varying degrees of shock. Except for Ally, but she'd never really understood exactly what was going on.

And Doctor Unawesome bounced back pretty quickly too. "Well, that's totally not awesome. So we kidnapped Artie and the Unawesome Unsuper Idiot for no reason?"

"He—he—" Arthur was still in la-la-land, apparently. He also looked like he needed to sit down before he collapsed on them.

"I guess so," the Tomato Bandit responded with a frown, his grip on Arthur loosening slightly.

They didn't get any farther, though, as Ally suddenly heard a loud thumping, crashing sound from above their heads. And then a creak...

Huh, she hadn't noticed that there were stairs there.

"_Gillian!_" And somebody sounded mega-super pissed off.

Doctor Unawesome had paled at that voice—or paled as much as she could pale considering the fact that she was already pretty pale. "Aw, so not awesome... Hurry, untie them quick!"

Too late. Ally watched as a pair of what looked like combat boots began to stomp their way down the stairs, making the entire thing shake and quiver in a way that looked extremely unsafe. And she watched as the combat boots turned into a pair of camouflage cargo pants and then into a tight, white muscle shirt... Dude, this guy had _abs_.

And, in a few short moments, a very pissed off, big, muscley guy with slicked-back blond hair was standing at the bottom of the stairway, arms crossed over his chest in a supremely irritated posture.

"What do you think you're _doing, _Gillian?"

Haha. Ally felt rather pleased right now, as she was totally watching her archnemesis get scolded. And the girl actually looked slightly cowed. "Nothing, Luddy. Nothing at all. Uh, we're just watching a movie. An awesome movie. Do you want to join...?"

"Let them go." He hadn't even looked over at her or Arthur yet. He was just glaring at Doctor Unawesome with a glare that could melt stone. "What have I told you about using _my _basement for this kind of stuff?"

"Only when you're not home?"

Okay, now _this _guy had the 'if looks could kill' glare down... "Now."

Doctor Unawesome sighed and walked over to Ally, beginning to untie the knots none-too-gently as Rose Thorn and the Tomato Bandit did the same to Arthur. "Unawesome little brothers ruining my awesome fun." And she was muttering under her breath, too quietly for the muscle dude to hear.

"I'm very sorry about this." And muscle dude _immediately_ apologised once the ropes had fallen away, _finally _giving her control of her arms again. Not that she could domuch with them, since she was pretty sure that punching Doctor Unawesome would be a bad idea... At least in front of this guy and all these impressionable chicks. "I'll give you a ride home."

"Okay!" That would solve one problem. Then, once she got home, she could make herself some dinner (hamburgers!) and then tomorrow could be spent looking for this Scallop Diamond and convincing Arthur to turn to the side of good once and for all.

"Now, mon cher...Ow~!"

Which was probably easier said than done, as she was pretty sure that he'd just slugged Rose Thorn. Completely ignoring the fact that there were dozens of impressionable baby chickens surrounding them.

Oh well, she was a hero! And if anyone could save Arthur from his evil ways, it was _her_. _Captain Justice Girl to the rescue!_

* * *

><p>AN: Da. Da. Daaaaaaaaa... And there ya go! :D Black Ninja & Ludwig: 1, Everyone else: Epic Fail.

Let's see... So I may be writing more stories in this little 'verse if you guys would be interested in reading them. Since there's really a ton that I could still do with it. Although if I do, the genres are going to tend to be different in those. Since this world is actually a lot more complex than Ally's thoughts and tendency to see everything in black and white would lead us to believe. There were little hints at that in this chapter...

I kind of want their secret lair, btw. And the baby chicks. Because chicks are adorable.


End file.
